Thursday, October 22, 2009

My Retributions

Okay so this is a short story I wrote for my grade 11 english class, but its what really opened my eyes to writing. Enjoy and please feel free to leave feedback. Nothing from this story is real. Kind of a combination of a conversation with my older brother talking about how scary it is to bring a child into the world now the way it is and they way its moving, as well as stories I read by Edgar Allen Poe.


  1. You are a rather disturbed young lady, and I feel it would be prudent to prescribe you several Dr. Phil books, and maybe his wife's books, just to be safe.
    But seriously, that was a fantastic look into the mind of dementia, and there seems to be a lot more of the story there that isn't overtly told -- a sure sign of good writing! It's a little unclear, though, what exactly is going on in the 3D world.
    Unrelated: Are any of your YouTube links of your own work?

  2. haha, are you talking about the background for the 3D world? Not really sure, just had an idea and went with it, haha took me about 3 hours to do but totally worth it. haha disturbed eh? Ya I got my brothers to read it afterward and they said I really captured what a psycopath thinks like, which I guess is a good thing for the story.
    The youtube videos that lost their sound I had to delete and am having problems finding them again. I have asked my friend but she doesn't have them so I am going to ask one of my old teachers.

  3. 3D World, like what exactly happened to his family, where's he staying now, the who & why of the next victems...
    Pity aboot your videos, sounds like a hastle. Hope they're up soon.

  4. well the whole idea was that since he felt so much agression towards him from his family that he actually dispised them. So when the time came he killed them in the most brutal but silent way possible. Obvioulsy trying to drag out their death for his own pleasure as well as to make them feel part of what he has been feeling the whole time. Living conditions I always pictured to be like a run down loft/olf factory building, with the walls crumbling and a dirty matress on the floor, the money for food and everything obviously came from his family after he killed them as well as his more recent victims. The next victims started out to be just to help the good people get out of the life in the 'perfect' world, but then he got so into killing people when they got him mad that he went on a spree.

    Ya I will try to get them up this week

  5. I can't remember if I asked already or not, but would you be intetrested in a writers group? just to get together, say, once a month for feedback & re-inforcement, and other discussion? Still in the idea stage, but I think it would be good to have a community to encourage ourselves!

  6. You mentioned that at work a couple weeks ago. I would definatly be interested, haha might do some good to have the envouragement to keep writing. Especially since I havn't added onto my script in 2 months.