Thursday, November 26, 2009

Gravol. Good or bad?

I am sitting here drinking coffee in order to keep awake long enough to write this blog entry.

Today started off pretty good given that I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. I wasn't put on cash at work, I was full of energy after having two days off, everything was going great. However then two hours into my shift I started to feel a My biggest mistake was telling my co-worker, she got worried and told a first aid trained employee. I am not one for much attention, I like to keep under the radar, even if I was dying I wouldn't let anyone around me know. Why do I need sympathy? So when the first aid employee came to check on me the first thing she said was "Oh you look pale." Of course knowing me my response included a joke, I replied with a quick "Ya I'm albino, I need to go get a tan." However that wasn't good enough for anyone, they wanted to make sure I wasn't going to pass out on the floor. Of course just to make them feel better I took it easy, but there was no way I was heading home. I was not going to show weakness!

Here comes my biggest mistake. My subconscious recalled a conversation with one of my co-workers about Gravol. Now knowing that for two nights in a row when I took the unknown named Gravol to help me sleep it did diddly squat, so what was the harm in buying some at work and popping two while on my break. About an hour later I found out.

One moment I am feeling great, lots of energy, no longer feeling like crap. With the spin of a head I started to feel the energy leaving my body, slowly through my arms and then my legs, I felt paralyzed. 'Great! Now the Gravol decides to put me asleep." Dragging my feet, trying to keep my brick eye lids open I started my way over to pack with one of my great employees. Trying to explain to her what was happening, a little light bulb went off in my head. 'Hey!! Adrenaline! That should counter act the drugs!' So running between two cashiers I started jumping up and down, singing, unpacking and packing with extra speed. Never allowing my feet to stop for more than a few seconds. Now I don't drink, but I have been told on several occasions that if you give me medication and adrenaline I act, high or drunk. Four of my employees got a good kick of watching my eyes go bloodshot, hands shaking uncontrollably. I have to admit I was having a blast, laughing hysterically at things that just weren't that funny, slipping on the floor with my running shoes as I ran.

Of course when I stopped for fifteen minutes while on my break, I could feel the paralysis cover me like a blanket once again, my mind wasn't putting words together to make sentences. I could feel the high wearing off, and to tell you the truth I didn't like it so much. Until after I realized I am back to myself, not the dead empty useless robot, or the extremely high employee that could have been dangerous at one point, but back to my usual insanity. Finally I was able to talk to employees and members without sounding completely insane and illiterate.

Never will I forget my wonderful day of being high for 4 hours. Oh glorious gravol I will miss you.

But hey I learned something today. Three of my employees would love the opportunity to slap me if they got the chance.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Death... whats the reaction?

So I normally try to keep a pretty upbeat message going onto my blog but I am just going off a little on this one.

For the longest time I always thought that I was the coldest person when it came to death. I would cry during a movie if it was happy or if one of the characters died, but when my grandmother died I never shed a tear. I didn't think much of it at the time, but then my mom would come and tell me as I got older that someone else had died and the only reaction that I would show is laughter. I know it sounds horrible and I felt bad as well.

So for the longest time I was always wondering, if one of my friends or family members would pass away, would I cry? I started thinking all this again recently because I now look at some people at work as close friends that I can talk to about things that are on my mind. What would my reaction be if one day they didn't show up to work and I was told they wouldn't show up ever again? I mean I felt worry when one of my co-workers called in sick three days in a row. "Are they okay? I wish I could do something." But when the final stroke on their life occurred, would I feel anything?

About two months ago one of my best friends and closest family members passed away. My dog, Shiloh a small, white, curly haired dog in which I watched grow up alongside of me. We noticed he wasn't doing well about mid June of this year, but at first we didn't think much of it. He got better, doing his usual things, and then one night he would get sick again and each time it would get worse. Then one weekend after doing so well for almost two weeks, my brother came home before he had to leave for another rotation, and once he left it seemed like Shiloh gave up. Like he just wanted to see Stephen one more time before he let go. I felt guilty for leaving him home alone sick on Sunday night, he wouldn't eat or drink and he could barely walk, but my mom reassured me that he would be fine. I should have stayed home. When I returned he looked frightened to be alone, I walked over and scooped him up in my arms and held him tightly to my chest. That night I put him on my parents bed and said goodnight, kissed him on the head and headed off.

The next morning my mom woke me up, and told me that he had passed away. I didn't cry, I just walked out to my parents room and touched his head. I knew he was gone, there was no presence left there for me to feel. I just watched my dad put his body into a blanketed box and put him in the garage until he got home. I crawled back into bed and fell asleep. Later when I woke up I was angry with myself "Why wasn't I crying? I cry during movies but I can't cry when someone I loved just passed away?" However that night when we were taking his body to the vet, I wanted to hold the box, but one thing I was not anticipating was the emotion I would get from feeling the weight of his small little body on my lap. All the way to the vet I was sobbing like a baby. I whispered one last goodbye before I took his body into the vet and that was it. That's when I knew, that I will cry....eventually.

Although at times I still feel like I have something wrong with me, aren't people suppose to grieve for quite sometime? One day is hardly what I call grieving over a loved one.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Family Gatherings

If your like me, then you hate family gatherings. For two reasons.

1. there are too freakin many of them, seriously someone should have stop breading after like 4 children. Why such a perfect number? well cause I was number four and look how great I turned out. I know what your thinking, that's a reason to stop at three right there. Good point. I'm not that full of myself.

2. Why should we have to sit throughout hours of agonizing small talk with cousins, aunts and uncles. I mean seriously wasn't thanksgiving painful enough? 'You don't really care what I plan to do with me life, so don't ask. I don't want to talk to you.' You might say that this comment is a little harsh, but seriously do you want to sit there and talk to your aunts and uncles with that fake smile and constant eye twitching in the opposite direction while your talking?

So my friend gave me the idea to come up with a 'ten simple' rules theme for everything I come across. So here is my version of the ten simple rules to get OUT of a family gathering.

1. Work. Now I know everyone hates work, but seriously whats worse, going to a painful 8 hours of a family gathering then coming home and feeling like crap, or an 8 hour shift at work where you get to come home and relax?

2. Get sick. This is pretty easy if its close to Christmas. Easy, go steal a kid and get them to sneeze like crazy. I know disgusting, but believe me if your family is like mine, its worth it. Either that or tell everyone you have H1N1, they won't want you there.

3. Beg. If non of these two work, get on your hands and knees and beg. Hopefully your parents love you enough to give you a break. If not then seriously you really need to consider putting yourself up for adoption.

4. Run. As a kid we always ran away when nothing went our way, why not this time? I mean most of us at this point have our own vehicle and/or money. Find SOME way to get your ass out of the house and away from your parents.

5. Steal, now this here is probably not a good idea. Depending on your family you may want to skip this part. However for myself spending a night in prison is a hell of a lot better.

6. Insult your extended family, not only will it get you out of the up coming family gathering, but also every one after that. Its brilliant actually. It worked for my sister-in-law.

7. Fall down a flight of stairs. Hopefully this will break an arm or a leg. "Oh look! I got to go to the hospital" Great idea I know.

8. Make plans. This one is pretty lame, but personally I am running out of ideas to help you. If your parents are anything like mine, they will tell you to cancel. So make sure this person is as important to you as the Pope is to the Catholics.

9. Throw all your clothes in the dirt, of course make sure your wearing SOMETHING. I know running around naked may feel nice to you, but I am being generous when I say, no one else wants to see that. Just make sure what your wearing is completely unacceptable like my shirt that says "I see Dumb People" your parents aren't going to send you to a family gathering to insult everyone.

10. Try using persuasion on your parents, to convince them that the party was last week and they missed it. I mean it worked in Star Wars, why not live up to our Jedi potential now? Its not going to work but hey, they may just think your crazy enough to embarrass them.

You may like family gatherings and in that you want to switch? Or if I like you enough I guess I can get them to adopt you back.

Another unasked for look into my mind...

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Things To Do When Your Day is Turning Out To Be......Crap?

Yesterday was probably one of the better days I have had at work, of course getting elbowed in the head by one of my co-workers definatly makes the day better. Not to say that I am by any means masochist, but it makes a great story! Such as "Oh ya, I ran into a brick wall once" see not only now does that make you question if my sanity was lost in that moment, but it also makes a great conversation piece. Such as yesturday getting hit opened up a whole new environment for me, not only were my 3 other co-workers and myself laughing hysterically for 3 hours about it, but some others also got quite a lot of enjoyment from hearing about it. You never know how someone truely feels about you until they laugh hysterically and then try to cause you more pain, but hey as long as they get a laugh out of it why not?

However today was different, I don't know if it was because I actually got sleep last night due to Patti's hit or because of my 3 sleepless nights, but I was knocked unconsious. So this morning everything seemed to go wrong, I woke up late, my mother shut off the washing machine and restarted it this morning leaving me to go to work with wet jeans, and then of course to top it all the debit machine didn't work at my till! It was fantastic, but of course what can you do? Thats the big question. I have come up with 10 simple rules for having a better day, all of which I have experienced just in the few 6 hour shift.

1. Smash a machine. Not only will it get your frustration out but it just might help fix the machine. (Just watch out for supervisors)

2. Smile, of course this is important while hitting the machines but it also makes the members day, which of course we know is more important than being happy ourselves.

3. Toss a kid. Of course I never actually did that, but I did grab a sleeping kids shoulders today, thinking that they were a dog I said I wasn't all there. Parents got a good laugh out of it.

4. Hit your packers with the gun. This was actually quite fun......enough said. (SENSOR: of course I don't mean a real gun, cause thats not as funny)

5. Listen to angry music. This always helps lift my spirits knowing that at some point someone was having a worse day then myself in order to have written that song.

6. Swear. Now I don't do that often, but today was one of those days. Just get that extra steam off when something else goes wrong. Trust me it helps.

7. Recieve a compliment. Now this always is good, even on the best of days, but it definatly helps on the ones that suck. Now of course, if no ones gives one up then you......just have no friends. Your day just got worse.

8. Cardio. Now this is very important, if you are out of shape its time to hope back on that tredmill, cause you ain't getting a way from those Supervisor and their talk of cash unless you can move your ass. Of course shrinking a couple inches helps to, but if you can do that..... well I would just be impressed.

9. Making fun of others. Now one of my employees definatly knows what I am talking about. But making fun of someone else doesn't mean we don't..... how should I put this, like them. It just means that we have a different view of them then they do of themselves. But this always makes your day, why? Cause its just down right hilarious!

10. Think "What would Mario do?" Cause of course Mario knows what he is doing, everyone should follow Mario's example, if we did we could have 12 lives and out live all the cats. 1 UP!!

Just follow these 10 simple rules and your day will see its brightness with in no time. Then do what I do, come home and write about it.

Another day with my mind.....kinda scary isn't it?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

3 Day Makeover

I like to view myself as a very organized kind of a girl. Though most times my room looks messy, it is actually still quite organized to my liking. However my mother seems to be a bit differently wired. She has a very imaginative mind for interior decorating and always tries to put that plan in motion.... but of course she can't do it by herself, a five foot women using a saw?? Especially a women like my mother, she or you would lose your limbs, I mean she ends up painting the celling when trying to paint the wall. Don't get me wrong I love her dearly, but she is just crazy!

She had most of this week off, and of course because she had it off my dad had to have it off. However what my dad and I thought was just a big pain in the ass of moving a giant desk down two stairs turned into something caotic in just 30 secs. Walking towards my room I hear a rippping sound, look into the room and there she is ripping off wallpaper...just 3 days before my Aunt and Uncle are suppose to be showing up to sleep in THAT room. Personaly I didn't think she was going to get it done. But low and behold with hours of paint and drape shopping, and A LOT of missed sleep the room is complete today. Which just proves to myself that considering all I needed for the past 6 years was my wall painted, it is easy to get it done in just day, considering they got a whole room done in three, but then again like I said my mom was wired differently and 'believes' that your room can't be completed until you move out and she makes your room in something she saw on the home and garden channel. A little sour you might say? Well ya, 6 years. Last time she painted my room it was a colour I didn't like, so now my room is a grand 3 different colours. but hey, at least she let me get ride of my Barbies, finally.

But I guess I can't complain I really didn't do anything to the bedroom renovation, it went against what I 'believe' the same reason why my dad refuses to pay $.5 for a plastic bag at the grocery store, you would never be forgiven if you came home with one of those distasteful things. Thanks to my awsome older brother, I sat in my room playing the original nintendo games like Super Mario 3 and Super Mario Brothes running back and jumping on the flag. Its amazing at how weird it feels, how much I understand the game and how the system works now that I am not 6.

Back to the point, my aunt and uncle showed up today, I was kind of hoping that I would be at work by then so as not to have to make small talk. Can you say Awkward' However they showed up at the door at 8:30 this morning. Now in my books thats really early to show up at someones house, I mean I can understand 10am. I guess I can let it go this time, considering I couldn't sleep anyways dreaming some wacked out dream of some people at work, and my closest school friends. They are very different and that was apparent in my dream, but seriously. I would trade in a good nights sleep than constantly dreaming about work.... let me re-phrase that, people at work. I don't dream of packing and constantly being under pressure on the till that would be a nightmare...

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Christmas = season to be jolly?

During the Christmas season everyone comes out of the wood works which makes Christmas one of the most stressfull seasons ever. Not only do you have traffic everywhere, even in the parking lot but it almost becomes essential to have stop signs and street lights inside the stores. I am not one for big crowds to begin with, I can't deal with sqwaking children running around in front of you while your trying to walk, or being an inch away from some really sweaty guy. So working retail not only are you asking for everything just listed, but you also have twice the amount of people in a smaller space. Now is it just me or does everyone feel like running people over with a cart when they walk in your way, or just stand right in front of you and not move? Now from this blog entry its no wonder I come home and play one man shooter games on my xbox. The safest place for me and everyone I work with during the Christmas season is the front end, we like our lives, and not only do we get to joke around with each other,but also the customers....sometimes.

Now don't get me wrong some of the members are actually quite nice, like a bunch of older women later tonight laughing at my 'Nerd Herd' shirt. I was actually quite surprised at my reaction, not only did I comment back but I actually had them laughing. I FINALLY NOW THE TRICK!! Mention that I am a Nerd and let me hang out with some of the best people at work and you can get me to continue going. Mind you it also helps not being the new girl at work either, and I can throw some orders around to the new guys.

Now first impressions to me are essential, the first impression I get from someone triggers something in my brain 'fight or flight,' and there are some people that have made a very good first impression. Not to say that I don't like the people after I get to know them, like two out of four of my favourite people at work, actually scared me shitless the first time, but now if I had to choose who to hang out with I would choose them.

But back to Christmas, I have only got one Christmas present so far, thats bad for me considering I normally am done by now, but seriously who wants to go out? and not only am I confused because now I have this strong pull tugging my mind at doing someting for the people at work that I like, but also I still have to buy for my family. The biggest issue is that I don't know what to buy, in case I go to Newfoundland for Christmas I need to buy something small and that can fit into a suitcase, which makes it difficult for buying for my parents. Before when I mentioned getting something for the people at work, obviously I don't have the money to buy them something, but I can bake! the only problem is how do I give them something without 1. Looking like an idiot to them, and 2. not give something to the other 300 employees. I mean Cheesecake...needs to be refrigerated and is messy...

All the random workings of my mind