Saturday, February 20, 2010

My Nerdy Dreams

The other day I was thinking about several of the guys in my life. They ARE real, don't worry, but just because I don't know them personally yet want to marry each of them does not make me a scrap booking stalker. So here I will be listing off my nerdy fantasy guys, AKA future husband.......yes I will marry each of them.

1. Zachary Levi aka Chuck Bartowski:

Physical Features: Dark curly luscious poofy hair, puppy dog, melting 'looking into my soul into my soul' big brown eyes. The boyish, crooked, goofy, heart wrenching make me happy grin! *ughhhh I shiver* Adorably cute scruffy dark facial hair.

Reasons why I love him: He's Chuck!!! Normally I wouldn't have to explain but considering some of you haven't seen the show I will list it off. Sense of humor, smile, nerdy tendencies, CONVERSE SHOES, romantic, computer nerd, gamer, intelligent, sweet, all around lovable hug me guy......and I don't normally like hugs.
Plan of wooing: Thick black glasses, taped in the middle. Nerd Herd apparel, show interest in computers and video games. Show I can make food. Buy More stalker.

Our Wedding: Beach wedding, guys wearing dark blue jeans and black high top converse shoes. Mid day, girls feet in the sand, bride (Me) sundress. Casual. Pictures us walking through the water barefoot, girl holding converse shoes, holding hands in black and white. Honeymoon consists of Paris, his life long dream.

Children: Four children, 3 boys one girl. Girl is a girly girly but does like the occasional video game. Guys all gamers. Gorgeous children just like their father.

2. Michael J Fox:

Physical Features: Floppy, wring your hands through dark hair, drop dead gorgeous smile, deep ocean blue eyes. Nerdy shortness, and his Parkinson's just adds to the sexiness (in all seriousness).

Reasons Why I Love him: His height!! Aw got to love a short man. Nervous cute laugh, crooked smile, VERY good sense of humor. Parkinson's, love the shakes. Good dresser, love his movies!! Amazing voice! He can call me any time he wants, which is impressive cause I don`t love phone calls.

Plan of Wooing: Rainbow suspenders, drive up in the Back to the Future car and offer him a ride into his future with ME!!! Take him to a midget tossing competition.

Our Wedding: Traditional church wedding with all the family around. Brides maid wearing a red dress. Middle of winter wedding. Long while dress with a red sash. Must be fluffy snow falling. Snow sleigh ride to reception for everyone. Hot chocolate served with whipped cream and chocolate covered almonds. Honeymoon in Banff. Skiing, fireplace lodge, relaxation. Hot tub.

Children: Two children, boy and a girl. Short around 5`4`` lovable cute, athletic yet slightly nerdy with computer look. Boy: brown floppy hair, girl long brown wavy locks.

3. Ryan Reynolds: Enough said.

Physical Features: DO I NEED TO EXPLAIN? Body, nice abs!!! *Drool worthy* Chiseled face, sculpted jaw, dark gelled up, short hair. Amazing puppy dog brown eyes. Beautiful, sand paper gruff, melting your heart smile that shines from the heavens. Wrap your arms around me arms. Oh yeah thats right.

Reasons Why I Love Him: Lovable, husky, sarcastic voice. Amazingly fantastic humor that was given by the Gods. Dorky yet fashionable clothing, I don't need to go shopping for him, hes got it done. A man that can protect with his Deadpool Martial arts.

Plan of Wooing: Wearing my retainer and singing "I Swear" to him with love on the karaoke machine. Interpretational rain dance may be included. Possible booty shake.

Our Wedding: New York city, roof top starry night wedding. Small gathering. Plain white semi long cocktail dress. Brides maids wearing limish green dresses. Simple, yet classy wedding. Honeymoon, boat anchored in the ocean short distance away from a private cove. Some where warm.
Children: 3 Children. All have a very good sense of humour. Two girls, one boy. Get in trouble for their sarcastic ways. Independent, good looking.

4. Phantom:

Physical Features: Handsome on one side, scarred yet attractive on the other. Walks with an air of presence.

Why I Love Him: His singing, scarred destroyed spirit and helplessness. His devotion to his loved one, his romantic ways. Easily jealous. Creative mind, intelligence, sense of mystery. His sneaking C.I.A moves, his cape. His creepy water boat.

Plan of Wooing: None needed, he does all the creepy work. Loves to much.

Our Wedding: Private, dungeon wedding. He marries us together, through forceful persuasion. Wedding dress made by him, in his free time. Seaweed flowers. Music done by clapping electronic money. Ring provided by ex-fiancee.....obviously he was worthless. Honeymoon involves the room next door. Clutter.

Children: Home birth, wouldn't be surprise if he had his own medical degree. 8 for improvement, no room in house. Water beds, literally beds on the water. Kids learn to swim early. Half have good singing voices, while the others don't but have scarred face.....they have been abandoned.

These are my men. Girls if you think about pursuing, I will have to hunt you down like a duck!!

Pleasant dreams!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Fricken Valentines Day!

So I got up this morning feeling a bit tired, but overall in a pretty good mood. But that changed as soon as I punch in at work. I work at a retail store as mentioned before, and normally it works out pretty well. Great co-workers and most of the time good customers. But for some reason they see Valentines Day as being a day to piss off other people.
OK let me start from the beginning. At first I started off packing for people I can't exactly talk to, so instead I move to pack with a friend. Now that was a big mistake and I am going to try not to do it again. Working + talking = disaster. So I was there packing along when all of a sudden I start screwing things up for her, making her day harder and therefore less enjoyable. So then I feel like shit. Thankfully a couple minutes later I get told to go somewhere else. However then of course you get those people who hate valentines just a little more than you do, and plan on screwing you over for fun. I mean happy fricken valentines day to you too. You go home and have a good time with your wife while I go home and sit at my computer all night like the hermit I am, just give me a minute to craw in my whole while you continue cussing at me.

A mix of things I have experienced today and how to solve it

1. Feeling like an ass. Technically there isn't much to do about that. I mean it comes pretty easy to me, but hey go hang out with someone else that you don't wish would beat the crap out of you to make you feel better.

2. Lazy people. I mean seriously! I am ringing your groceries through. The very least you can do is put your damn groceries back in the cart! What do you think I am Superwomen! Fat chance tubby.

3. Rude people. OK most are not bad but still, if you have at least 5 come though your line in a day, then that just screws over your happiness. Thank you for your lovely insults as I stand here for 5 hours doing your lazy ass a favor. You got a problem with it, do it yourself!

4. Carts. If you bring in a cart, you can very well take it out. I mean your going in that direction anyways!! Take the damn cart and get out of my face. The time it takes me to bring a cart out, is the time my cashier, yes MY cashier could get hurt because your too fricken lazy to push a cart instead of carrying a box.

5. Managers. Now don't get me wrong I love my managers. However by staring at me while I am doing my job defiantly doesn't help my performance. Would you like me to do a hand stand at the same time while spinning a plate on my head? What score will you give me?

6. People! OK, so I have mentioned people before, but if you can't tell there is several different types. We have the stupid, idiotic, moronic, insanely moronic and the jack ass's. However #6 is about how idiotic people are. I mean yes I guess I am overreacting. If you can' t find something sure OK ask. But if I am busy trying to find something don't stop me every fricken to seconds to ask me where something is! I AM ON A MISSION!!! Do I have to wear a siren hat?

7. Carts....Again. But this is to help you with your problems. If you are angry, grab your jacket and head on out to collect buggies. You can throw, chuck, and curse on them out there all you want. No one cares, and no one can hear you. That's right just stand out there and yell cusses, SHIT!!! ASS WIPE!!! It helps, trust me. Just try not to interact with other co-workers they can get the wrong idea.

8. Joke. Towards the end find someone you like and joke around with them. I mean for me I wasn't intending on joking around with a friend, actually I intended on avoiding her in order to feel less like an ass. Yes, this is the one where I screwed up and deserved a bat in my skull. That's right AC, take a swing. You deserve it!!!

9. Smile. OK well this isn't easy while your working, but would it hurt to reach across the counter and strangle a customer. I mean you are smiling, isn't that all that matters? Smile and nod as your eyes bulge out of your head.

10. List off nerds. Today while extremely frustrated I stated all the nerds I knew and loved. Some people list off states or sayings, well mine is nerds. Get over it. Oh and it would help to bring your game genie and try the day over again with a little cheating.

I hope you enjoyed my rambling frustrations as I did writing them down. Their in print now, and out of my system. Sorry no murder sprees tonight.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Monday, February 8, 2010

Death, Destructions, Idiocity

They called it the unsinkable ship, yet of the 2,231 passengers aboard, two thirds died a frosty death and sank to the bottom of the Atlantic ocean. From the ships crew to young children who had no say in where they go or how they get there.

On April 14th 1912 at 11:40pm one of the largest more luxurious ocean liners sideswiped a large iceberg. Despite the iceberg warnings, the ships captain Edward J. Smith ordered for the ship to pick up speed, only to cause on of the largest maritime disasters of all time. I mean seriously? Pick up speed? Are you mentally ill? Thats suicidal. Its like saying "oh look there is a brick wall straight a head, lets pick up speed and see how much my car gets crushed in the collision!" Many people didn't believe that the ship was sinking, after all even God couldn't sink such a ship. Now first of all, why would you say that? You just damned the whole ship and everyone on it to death! Way to go rock star thanks for killing thousands of people! However as the reality hit them many people frantically tried to find their way onto one of the lifeboats. Unfortunately for many passengers, there was only 16 lifeboats on board, just enough to take 33% or the Titanics total capacity of people.

The shortage of lifeboats that killed thousands of people was actually more than a ship of that size was required to take. However even with the shortage of lifeboats the crew only loaded on half of what the total capacity could hold. Having only 28 people to as low as 12 people on a boat that can hold as many as 65 people. This part just annoys me, I mean seriously why would you put people on a boat that doesn't have enough lifeboats to save them all? Who was ahead of this decision?! IDIOTS!!!!

Anyways, a short distance away an unknown boat went by, not responding to the morse code call for help nor the morse lamp code they continued to sail by. Also nearby was a ship called the Californian which had stopped for the night. Although earlier on they sent a morse code to the Titanic operators warning them an iceberg ahead, but were shut down from the operators telling them to "Shut Up" for they were working with Cape Race. When the Titanic finally needed help everyone was asleep and no one woke up the captain till morning. I mean do you blame them? The ignorant bastard refused to talk to them to begin with. Let him sink if anything.

Because of the arrogance of the creators and crew of the RMS Titanic, the boat sank to the bottom of the Atlantic ocean at 2:20 AM on April 15th 1912 after being split into two.

Many people are not aware but I am oddly obsessed with the Titanic, not only the romantic movie, but also with the boat. The tragedy and stupidity of the situations drives me mad enough to love it even more.

Hope you enjoyed my random musings.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Mind Fragments

This past two weeks I have come across several lines cris-crossing around me. I have two choices. I can either untangle myself by meeting it head on, or I can become tripped up in these webs that I have created. From school, relationship, family and health issues I feel pressed up against a wall forced to make decisions I don't feel comfortable with. Several people see me as being cool and collective. And the truth is that its the only way I can push things off to a later time to worry about.

I have been left with two choices of schools. One is so close to home and I can see my family and friends. It would be so easy for me to just jump right in knowing what is going to happen, or that I can count on someone close to lean on in those times where you fall apart. The other school is so far away, but I can make a fresh start. Leave my past behind with all my life's mistakes and insecurities and become the person I want to be. Not worry about who or what I left behind. I mean obviously I am always going to think about friends and family I left behind, but I think then I can truly find myself without this mess of confusion of who people think or want me to be. Then again I have always considered becoming a professional sky diver!

In these past couple months I have come across some great people whom I think have helped me in my process to succeed in life. Each person in my life has added something to my personality. I feel like I am pieces of personalities from the people I have come across in life. From my family, to each of my friends I have evolved slowly to a complete person with walking and talking abilities. Some people can look at me like a Lego man, whatever they need me to be I can become. I will always have my base to keep me different, and ME. Some decisions however are harder than others, they take consideration and a thought process; and sometimes its easier to just run away and never look back. Or meet up with Michael J. Fox and travel Back the the Future!

As for health issues. Many have no idea what is going on, and most of the time I prefer it that way. I am not one for sympathy. I don't like crying in front of people, nor showing any weakness. I guess growing up with three older brothers has eventually taught me to be like them. But in a months time I will be forced to make a decision I don't want to make. Its is just as easy for me to make jokes and laugh at the situation than to actually decide and face the fact that's its freaking me out inside. But then again maybe they can put humpty dumpty back together again. That and the fact that I believe in things that most people don't. Like a God for instance.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

All I can do is believe. Hope you enjoyed pieces of my mind fragments