Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Fricken Valentines Day!

So I got up this morning feeling a bit tired, but overall in a pretty good mood. But that changed as soon as I punch in at work. I work at a retail store as mentioned before, and normally it works out pretty well. Great co-workers and most of the time good customers. But for some reason they see Valentines Day as being a day to piss off other people.
OK let me start from the beginning. At first I started off packing for people I can't exactly talk to, so instead I move to pack with a friend. Now that was a big mistake and I am going to try not to do it again. Working + talking = disaster. So I was there packing along when all of a sudden I start screwing things up for her, making her day harder and therefore less enjoyable. So then I feel like shit. Thankfully a couple minutes later I get told to go somewhere else. However then of course you get those people who hate valentines just a little more than you do, and plan on screwing you over for fun. I mean happy fricken valentines day to you too. You go home and have a good time with your wife while I go home and sit at my computer all night like the hermit I am, just give me a minute to craw in my whole while you continue cussing at me.

A mix of things I have experienced today and how to solve it

1. Feeling like an ass. Technically there isn't much to do about that. I mean it comes pretty easy to me, but hey go hang out with someone else that you don't wish would beat the crap out of you to make you feel better.

2. Lazy people. I mean seriously! I am ringing your groceries through. The very least you can do is put your damn groceries back in the cart! What do you think I am Superwomen! Fat chance tubby.

3. Rude people. OK most are not bad but still, if you have at least 5 come though your line in a day, then that just screws over your happiness. Thank you for your lovely insults as I stand here for 5 hours doing your lazy ass a favor. You got a problem with it, do it yourself!

4. Carts. If you bring in a cart, you can very well take it out. I mean your going in that direction anyways!! Take the damn cart and get out of my face. The time it takes me to bring a cart out, is the time my cashier, yes MY cashier could get hurt because your too fricken lazy to push a cart instead of carrying a box.

5. Managers. Now don't get me wrong I love my managers. However by staring at me while I am doing my job defiantly doesn't help my performance. Would you like me to do a hand stand at the same time while spinning a plate on my head? What score will you give me?

6. People! OK, so I have mentioned people before, but if you can't tell there is several different types. We have the stupid, idiotic, moronic, insanely moronic and the jack ass's. However #6 is about how idiotic people are. I mean yes I guess I am overreacting. If you can' t find something sure OK ask. But if I am busy trying to find something don't stop me every fricken to seconds to ask me where something is! I AM ON A MISSION!!! Do I have to wear a siren hat?

7. Carts....Again. But this is to help you with your problems. If you are angry, grab your jacket and head on out to collect buggies. You can throw, chuck, and curse on them out there all you want. No one cares, and no one can hear you. That's right just stand out there and yell cusses, SHIT!!! ASS WIPE!!! It helps, trust me. Just try not to interact with other co-workers they can get the wrong idea.

8. Joke. Towards the end find someone you like and joke around with them. I mean for me I wasn't intending on joking around with a friend, actually I intended on avoiding her in order to feel less like an ass. Yes, this is the one where I screwed up and deserved a bat in my skull. That's right AC, take a swing. You deserve it!!!

9. Smile. OK well this isn't easy while your working, but would it hurt to reach across the counter and strangle a customer. I mean you are smiling, isn't that all that matters? Smile and nod as your eyes bulge out of your head.

10. List off nerds. Today while extremely frustrated I stated all the nerds I knew and loved. Some people list off states or sayings, well mine is nerds. Get over it. Oh and it would help to bring your game genie and try the day over again with a little cheating.

I hope you enjoyed my rambling frustrations as I did writing them down. Their in print now, and out of my system. Sorry no murder sprees tonight.


  1. Wow, look at you go! I'd forgotten how hard it was to be single on VD day. Don't you just want to punch every marketer in the throught!

  2. haha,I try. Nah its not the whole lovey Dovey stuff that makes me hate Valentines Day its the fact that people make to big of a deal about it. But yes I do want to hit all the people that came through!