E is for Engage

OK so 'E' was a very hard topic for me to talk about. So instead of coming up with something catchy or slightly interesting, I am going to talk about myself.

As a child I was a very "awkward turtle." Not in the way of actions, but as in the way of speaking. I was very shy, not talking to anyone, writing notes to my family, handing it to them and running away or quietly slipping it through the door and hoping that they find it. I would always walk with my head down and actually almost cry when people I wasn't comfortable around would start engaging in a conversation with me. I said "Almost cry" I never actually did cry, but it felt like my body was slowly shutting down as my face went red and my palms sweaty.

Over the past couple years I have gotten over most of my problems. I no longer get sweaty palms and my face doesn't go......THAT red. I walk with my head up, which apparently makes me look like I have confidence. Which I lack very much, but hey as long as that's what people think I am not going to correct them otherwise. However one thing that I still have a hard time tackling is my ability to engage people in a conversation. I am very bad with talking. I never know what to say, what jokes are appropriate or will make them laugh. I don't want to say something that might offend someone or make them uncomfortable. Its very hard not knowing what the other person is thinking! So instead I normally stay away from conversations unless I know I have chosen the right topic choice. Which by the way, if I am quiet is exactly what I am doing. Although all my weird quirks are gone I still have one big issue. My hands shake uncontrollably to the point where sometimes its hard to drink without spilling it all over myself. I try to hide it but its extremely hard, but hey its easier to hide than a red face!

Well that's as much engaging as I can do tonight. Like I said talking really isn't my strong point unless you want to hear some rambling.

D is for De Maintenance

OK so I cheated a little with the bit of french. But hey its hard to come up with a topic for D, especially when you have work on the brain.

So about 2 weeks ago one of my managers came up to me. Now 1. I get extremely nervous around people with power, any power. Especially the power to fire. So she asks me "Hey Bethany, would you like to work a maintenance shift on Easter Monday?" Well of course because she is my manager, and I didn't really know what the maintenance shift required I said "Sure." BAAAADDDD Idea, I soon found out that the maintenance shift included sweeping, emptying garbage's, and cleaning the bathrooms.

So for the past week I have been dreading my "Cinderella" shift and I wasn't disappointed. It was slower at the retail store I work at then I would have thought, after all it was still a holiday, but at the end of the night you smell like crap. 1. I was sweating all day. Now I know that's disturbing, but hey these people seriously never heard of air conditioning. 2. You are taking out the garbage all day, filled with half full Tim Horton's coffee cups and food. I mean seriously! Some people are really wasteful. You just spent $2 on that coffee which you probably buy 5 times a day and here you are throwing out half the drink?! Crazy!

However at the end of my shift, since I was using two carts at the end to help me with garbage I misplaced the maintenance crew's keys. With a little heart attack going on in my chest I frantically looked around, dreading telling my manager that I lost the only pair of keys. Hey it was her fault for giving a mind wanderer like myself the job in the first place. Luckily however just before I go to give my soul away I find them 5 Min's before my shift is done. Can you say "Close one."

But now as tired and trashy as I smell, I am grateful to be home and 8 hours added to my check.

Chuck

Chuck is one of my favourite shows on televisions, its nerdy, and hilarious with an additional hint of James Bond action and some side romance. This season of Chuck is darker than all the rest. This time there is death and destruction leaving a path for viewers to follow, but for some reason the show still seems to be having rating problems, and the cause is that there is so many shows at 8pm on Monday nights. Last year Chuck had the same problem, but fans around the world joined together to save the show; from letters to NBC with a box of 'nerds' to all joining together to buy a Sub from Subway at a certain date.

This year all they are asking for fans to do is get people as addicted to this fantastic show as I am. I have started my part, with around 20 people already addicted to Chuck just from my lending of seasons. Now with this alphabetical blog assignment, I come to my readers telling them to give the show a chance.

It reaches to many different types of people from the nerdy yet adorable Chuck, to the tough and trigger ready John Casey. Here is a look into the Chuck humour:





If your interested in the show, check it out. Here listed is every episode aired on TV from season 1-Season 3. Give it a shot! http://one-tv.net/tv/chuck/

Belbin Family

In my family I have three older brothers. The first one being 13 years older than me, the second being 8 years older and the third being 6 years older than me. You must be thinking "Holy Cow! How old are your parents!" Well they are both in their fifties and still very outgoing.

So far from growing up in this family I have found out four things. 1. We have a very quick temper. 2. We are very protective over friends and family, 3. We have a very...unique sense of humor and 4. My siblings and I have a very downward slope of emotions, from very emotional, normal emotion, "ice queen" and no emotion. Now I put ice queen in quotes because I definitely did not tag myself as that. That name is from the courtesy of my brother. Now you may be thinking 'what about you being so high strung?' Well that's not from the Belbin side. That's from my mom, and if you ever get to meet her you will know why.

My brothers are awesome, they have a very good sense of humour and mind. It baffles me sometimes some of the things they come up with. However some of my brothers can be a pain in my rear end. From taunting, teasing to actually being rough when we get into a play fight. However one thing that always confuses me is why I am always wanting to hang out with them. I have come up with one solution. I am a masochist, plain and simple.

My parents are awesome people, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I always thought I was like my dad, but the other day my dad pointed out that I have some of the same characteristics of my mom and that's why a lot of the time we clash heads. But whenever I think of my parents I think of my 16th birthday and how we flew down to St. Maarten to see my brother Stephen. My parents would do anything for anyone, and I love that about them.

Another thing people should know about us, is that we are very stubborn people. However I don't think that is a quality from my dads side, but it is apart of this immediate Belbin family as we get married and have stubborn, hot tempered, crazy kids of our own. Who knew we were so contagious.

That's my family. Crazy but you gotta love them.

A B C D....F?

Have you ever noticed that when marking all through elementary school they grade you with either an A+, A or A- and so on and so forth with the rest of the letters. I mean thats understandable correct? But why in the world would you have an 'F?'

'F' in school is suppose to mean 'Failure.' First, how is that suppose to help a kid in school by making him feel like a complete idiot that can do nothing right? No wonder suicide rates are so high. Seriously! However that's not my biggest issue at the moment. My question is if 'F' means 'Failure' then what is A, B, C, and D suppose to mean? Acceptable? Basic? Correctable? and Disposable? Grading systems are hard! Letting kids know that they are only mediocre. Mind you high school is not much better but I mean at least then you can take the classes your good at. Now maybe its just me, but all through elementary school I worked my butt off and still only pulled off a C or a D. It makes you feel like an idiot, really if you think about it. Once you get to high school though and your pulling off like 85-90% on projects it makes your feel pretty damn smart!

So whats with this lettering thing? Basically it comes down to the whole fact that elementary school grading is horrible compared to high school. They think they know what their talking about with the whole "Oh you better cursive write cause in high school you won't be able to do anything but cursive writing.' WRONG! They really don't care, most of the time a project is suppose to be typed. However why should we be listening to them in the first place? I mean obviously they don't know their alphabet! A, B, C, D,......F? what the heck happened to 'E?' Why was the grading system not A, B, C, D, E? It would make more sense, especially if 'F' doesn't have a meaning like all the other grading letters, and if it does why is A, B, C and D not special enough to have a meaning?

Anyways that my mind for today, and if it didn't make sense...... you really shouldn't be surprised.

Decisions Decisions

Alright, so this past week I have found out that I have been accepted into two very good film schools in Canada. Which SUCKS! Now I know your thinking 'shouldn't you be proud of yourself for getting into two prestigious school?' Well I would be, but now I have this huge decision to make. And pretty much what it comes down to is having a life vs. well no life.

Vancouver Film School is a very good film school that people from all across the world come to in order to get the film experience and degree that will help them make it big in the film industry.

Toronto Film School, was opened once before but closed for a couple years for renovations. Now I have heard that both schools are extremely hard to get into, but what does that truly mean about the school? If I go to Toronto then I have a life, with friends and family. I get to keep my car and job, and live a somewhat normal life.

However if I go to Vancouver there is a very good chance I will want to get shot, stabbed, hit by a car, thrown out of a plane into the Atlantic ocean, get my body eaten by a whale and then travel all over the country while the whale is digesting me. Okay so I can hear what your thinking, a little too over dramatic correct? WRONG!!! Seriously there is whales in Vancouver as well, and as cool as travelling the world for free would be, unfortunately I can't get off this ship to explore.

But back to decisions. I pretty much had my decision made. I was going to go to Vancouver, after all it SEEMs to be the better school, with it being in the Hollywood of Canada. However after one of my friends told me, 'you know we would prefer for you to stay, and after your first job, no one is really going to care about what school you go to.' I thought. Okay that sounds good. For the first time in my life I actually feel loved. I mean of course my parents loved me through their 'Tough Love' and I am sure my brothers loved me as well in between nuggies and locking me in rooms. But now I feel like a good elbow to the head type of emotion is good as well. After all I did grow up knowing that Pain = Love!

OK I went completely off topic again, and I know that's my kryptonite. Back to business, now because of what people are saying around me I feel completely confused. Some want me to go and others want me to stay, and yes its ultimately my decision but a little help and compromise would be nice to.

Anyways theres my lame attempt at the focus....or lack there of, of my mind.

My Life

I write this post with half open eyelids, no coffee and some much needed ideas. So since I have completely no idea on what to write, but still feel obligated to write something after a week, here I go. This is how my life goes.

I get up every morning, and I either get ready for work or I sit at my computer. Now this week I started watching an old TV series that I use to watch as a little youngster. Big Wolf on Campus! That show is seriously a classic. A teenage football star gets bit by a werewolf and joins forces with the school reject. Its brings up points that all high school students go through in life, such as: dating, popularity and in a weird way brings up the identity crisis. It makes someone like myself miss the easy times of high school. However this week I learned that although I may miss my life in high school, the goofing off and slacking yet pulling off A's, I really don't miss the people.

Today at work, 4 teenage boys came to the retail store I work at and caused havoc. I mean seriously? Immature idiots trying to act cool, by throwing their bikes behind a stack of carts, and then ignoring our rules as a store! It just brings back all those memories of the idiots that go to high school. In the real life, yes its a lot more stressful, and yes you still get the idiots like we did today but at least you can choose who you want to spend most of your time around, and you get paid to put up with idiots. What does school give you? Smarts? Pfft who needs those?!

Normally I would try hanging out with people, but that is a huge No No. Every time I hang out with someone I always end up with a headache. Why? Maybe its the constant thinking of something funny or entertaining to say or maybe its that my brain is trying use something that isn't there. Sentences? whats that? So to solve this problem I sit in my room, check Facebook 20 times a day, listen to music and stare at my computer screen willing for it to do something entertaining.

Anyways theres my ramblings to hold you over........I need ideas. So if you have any feel free to make suggestions.