Thursday, December 10, 2009

10 Reason why NOT to do a Cart shift

So today I had an 8 hour shift of doing carts at the retail store I work at, so here are 10 reasons not to be stupid like myself and pick up the cart shift on your day off.

1. You'll freeze! Most important reason, that's why it is number one. If you live in Canada like myself you know exactly what I am talking about. -4? oh ya you forgot to include the wind chill which brings it to -20.

2. Your limbs hurt. Seriously its like being hit with a truck.....although I haven't been hit by a truck but I have to say I probably would have preferred that. To tell you the truth though, I don't really feel it now, but I am anticipating the morning.

3. Its boring. I was bored out of my mind until around 5pm when one of my co-workers started talking to me, which I have to admit was kinda interesting.

4. People. Enough said. Okay I can't be that blunt, I mean the people that just get on your nerves. What comes out of my mouth is not what I am thinking. Let me literate for you, [high pitched annoying voice] "OH!!! Can I have a cart! (As she smiles and weirdly moves her head and grabs a cart. [My usually up beat tone] "Umm, its tied up right now, just give me a second. *while I tell you off for getting in my way and making my job harder.*

5. Snow. That is the white stuff that floats magically down from the sky and usually comes with cold weather. Here in Canada we get a whole lot of it during the winter season....and sometimes in April. Anyways its crazy trying to push carts in that, its like hitting a wall while the wheels are turning in the same place.

6. Carry Outs. Now some people know what I am talking about, but for you that don't a carry out is when a customer needs help lifting things into their car. Now thats fine, if your a man or a really butch women. I am neither. So lifting a 50" wide screen tv into someones car and then out again 5x is really not the best time of my life.

7. Carts. If it weren't for carts you wouldn't be out there in the first place. However because they are there, there just seems to be too many of them. You clean out somewhere around 8 carts, turn around and its full again! MAGIC! Wrong. BLACK MAGIC!

8. People with Carts. Now I know I mentioned Carts and People before, but this is different, the two combined is a lethal combination of idiocy. Seriously your two steps away from a nice warm door where you can place the cart yourself, do me a favor and TAKE THOSE TWO STEPS, its saves me like 30.

9. Cars. Now some people in their cars are actually quite nice, but others prefer to see people doing cart duty in the snow freeze some more while they chuckle to themselves in their nice warm toasty car. Either drive around me, stop or go. Don't just stop and then when I start to go speed off in front of me.

10. Lack of Teleportation. Just because I have a thing going with the nerdy 10 rules I have to add this in. You can't teleport if your frozen. Nor can you walk into the warm building when the person who gave you the buggy shift is holding the "things to do" board.

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I had writing it. Check back next time when I talk about the several different kinds of pain I want to experience.


  1. Hehehehe. I put up with this minus the snow for 2 months. It was "awesome". It was actually alright, but anything that's annoying out there, is about 200 times more annoying than anywhere else in the building. I found this really funny, but then, I can relate. Awesome.

  2. haha ya and I feel for ya. That stuff sucks. Mister R better be happy cause I am never picking up another 8 hour shift. 7 1/2 sure, haha no. Maybe a 4 hour and this time I am bringing snow pants.

  3. I did it full time for 1 1/2 years, and I miss it. Time to myself, excercise, great people, mind-wandering time...
    I can't believe you didn't nention: 1) Strays (walk the damn 20 bfeet, ya lazy cur!) and 2)people saying "You want one more?" I smile, and say 'Oh, no I'm full. But thank you!" as though they were being generous, and not lazy shits!

  4. haha,ah I forgot about those 2 very important and seriously annoying ones. I like carts for the reason u mentioned, but here is 10 no 12 reasons why sometimes ur just like "Oh get out of my way before I ram u with this cart"