Nervousness A Waste Of Time

Today was quite....entertaining. I woke up this morning with work calling me, which at the time was quite annoying and yet relieving considering the dream/nightmare I was having.

Today was a long anticipated day, not only for seeing the hit teenage girl movie 'New Moon' but also for hanging out with one of my co-workers. So when in my dream I went to go see the movie with her and her friend she ended up getting sick and we had to leave the movie early, I was quite disappointed when worked woke me up. The first thought I had jumping out of bed was "Crap [blank] is sick" Of course I didn't think very clearly just waking up. Why would work call me just to tell me she was sick? So I quickly assumed that they wanted me to pick up more hours to take over her shift.

All week I have been...antsy for today, mixed of excitement and a little of weariness. So today when I got up I was freak! I didn't know what to expect. Would I know what to say, or would I just be my old idiot self trying to figure out something to say? Of course my friends were trying to comfort me by telling me that they liked me for the idiot I was so it will be fine. Of course knowing me I was still all nervous walking into the theater, but as soon as I met up with my friend everything was fine. No problem. All my worries seemed stupid.

It never really made sense to me why I feel nervous around some people. I mean there are several people at work that I almost say whatever I want and still don't feel like an idiot. Towards my friends I have had for years its a regular occurrence and I learned today is apparently why they keep me around, that and my very distinctive and hilarious laugh. I guess my mind just jumps a head of me sometimes and starts to freak me out over nothing....which btw is really exhausting always worrying about what people think of you. Something I am learning very slowly, but still is improving, is who cares what people think? If they don't like you for who you are then that's their problem, don't change yourself for someone else. Especially when most of the time they just want to hang out with you, not your made up "better" character.

So overall tonight was awesome. I had a great time, and it was nice hanging out with someone I work with and have always wondered what it would be to hang out with them. Not so different but still different enough to view with my new sense of confidence gained over the past few months. I have to admit I like it, its giving me a lot more opportunities that I would have been to freaked to take before. Who knows where my personality will take me next? Perhaps to meet friends just as cool and terrific that I have or to a very creative job that I will love, and no I am not talking about retail....